He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
