the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
