do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
