I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
