I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
