Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
