Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
