There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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