He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
