Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
