thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The best revenge is premature balding
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize