So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
