Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
