I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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