He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
