who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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