how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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