I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
