You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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