How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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