And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
