He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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