That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize