i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
