dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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