Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
