I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
