Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
