They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
