Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
