we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
