I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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