Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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