hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
