hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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