i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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