She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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