im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
