It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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