So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
