The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm too high and old for this...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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