I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
