your room smells of hookers.
And success
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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