yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
