Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Actions speak louder than pants.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
