Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
operation harelip BJ is a go
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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