I think I died a long time ago.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
