you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have post one night stand depression
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
