Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We need to get me chipped asap
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
