A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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