why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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