i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
