some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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