That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
