in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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