I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
