i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
