My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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